The final rose has been given. And our princess is...?

JENNIFER:
So Jennifer is "The One". Jennifer is a sweetie. I'll be honest, I didn't think it would go this way because it didn't seem like Lorenzo was connected as deeply to her. But she is certainly sweet and warm, and willing to move to NY and give it a go. She must have had all the the traits Lorenzo was looking for the long term. Sadie's spunk might have been more fun in the early years, but Jen's consistancy may make for 40-year marriage material like Lorenzo's parents. Congratulations Jenn!


The Final Rose Has Been Given
Did Lorenzo pick the right girl?

Yes! Jenn is the one!
No, He should have picked Sadie.


  • Sadie 68%
  • Jennifer 32%


These poor girls were left without a rose, a bachelor, or a happy ending. My gosh, what did they do wrong???

SADIE:
Wha? Wait a minute, is that Sadie getting out of the limo first? Oh man... wrong again. I thought Sadie was the perfect match. I guess the clues that led to Jen were left on the editing room floor. Man, I thought these two had the chemistry, and the deep connection that was the "real thing". Oh well, I've been wrong before. Looks like Sadie will be saving herself a little bit longer. Sorry, Sweet Sadie.

LISA:
Yeah, Lisa... despite what you say, you were so busy planning your wedding and designing your dream house with the white picket fence to even pay attention if Lorenzo was truly the right guy for you. I don't think you ever even got to know him, and just sat in your bubble of smug superiority, certain that you fit into Lorenzo's plan as cleanly as he fit into yours. I have nothing against planning, but you can't pay attention only to how things are shaping up on paper, and not actual interact with the whole focus of your plan. In the end, Lorenzo just felt left out... and you should have ditched your personal agenda and really got to know him. But hopefully, all the single planning guys in Portland know all about you now, and are dying to take you out and show you their plans! Good luck!

AGNESE:
The language barrier just got to be too much. Although Lorenzo seemed to limp through the home visit with his limited Italian, it was just too hard to take things to the next level when he could understand only half of what Agnese said. A romance for another time, I think. These two might have been able to make something happen if there wasn't such a time crunch on the relationship progressing. Keep her number handy, Lorenzo! If things don't work out with the other bachelorettes, give her a call when you have more time to get to know each other.

DESIREE:
Well Baby, you needed to show a little less flirt, and a little more heart I think. You would be a fantastic first date -- lots of fun and attention. But I think you started to use that big personality as a shield to keep Lorenzo from getting closer to get to know the real you. Theoretically, he's looking for a wife, not a fun date for some royal event. You may have everything he's looking for to have a good time for an evening or two, but I don't think you ever let him know enough about you to be able to determine if you'd make a good partner for a lifetime.

JEANETTE:
Jeanette's a super sweet girl, but was just a little to slow to open up. In another circumstance, things might have gone further... but with lots of other bachelorettes around more willing to open up and get closer to Lorenzo, Jeanette just didn't have a strong enough connection to keep her around. But she's such a sweetie! Hopefully someone in her hometown is happy to have her back, and will be bringing her flowers and chocolates soon.

ERICA:
Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Gosh Erica, don't let the door hit you on the way out. But my oh my... you gave us all kinds of drama to titter over with the girls tomorrow. You are just a spoiled rotton little pain in the ass, and the reason you can't find any guy to date you is because you are truly awful! You didn't get your prince, but at least you still have your tiara! You can wear it on the plane ride back to Texas. See ya, sunshine!

GINA:
Gina... you've been all but invisible, so I'm not at all surprised you're going home, because no one got to know you... especially Lorenzo. You just about chewed your lower lip off during the rose ceremony though. You may want to do something about that scowl of yours... I think it's frightening off potential suitors. Smile now and again! You didn't get this guy, but there are more out there. Just stop scowling.

JAMI:
Wow, poor Jami. She got totally blindsided when she didn't get a rose on her date. I guess I was surprised too... but chemistry is chemistry. It's a mysterious thing, and it's either there or not. I guess it was "not" for you Miss Jami. Sorry honey... but you are such a fun, nice, personable sweetheart, there will be guys lined up around the block waiting for you to get home. Good luck!

ELLEN:
Damn. I would have much rather still had Ellen in the race instead of the incredibly annoying Erica. However, we saw so little of Ellen on this show, mainly because she's nice and sweet and quiet. All things men normally look for in a girl, but just not enough to draw the attention of Lorenzo or the cameras with so many other wild personalities around. Sorry Ellen, but I'm sure you'll find someone nice, now that you won't have to compete for his attention with 12 other women.

KIM:
Kim, Kim, Kim. You made it through all of the other steps to finally get to be one of the girls on the show, and then you pull a rookie move by drinking too much and passing out on your first date with the Bachelor! That's never going to leave a good impression. I know you tried to pull it off like you where just tired after all the sun and sand, and closed your eyes for a catnap... and we might have bought it if we hadn't seen you slurring and stumbling all over the place just before your "nap". Sorry honey, I kind of liked you... but you showed some really poor judgment, and you deserved to be left without a rose.

SARAH:
Sarah, sorry to say "I told you so", but the token, uh, Canadian, never makes it to the final rose ceremony. They usually make it to the third ceremony though, but the producers must have needed your spot for Erica so we could be subjected to her antics for yet another week. My advice to you for successful husband hunting in the future? You might want to work on reducing the number times you punctuate your sentences with "Eh". It tends make guys confuse you with a platonic hockey buddy.

ANDREA:
Andrea is a 28-year-old hotel concierge who currently resides in Cincinnati, OH.

APRIL:
April is a 23-year-old model who currently resides in Chicago, IL.

BRIT:
Brit is a 28-year-old beer chemist who currently resides in Columbus, OH.

CARISSA:
Carissa is a 25-year-old attorney who currently resides in Morristown, NJ.

CLAUDIA:
Claudia is a 22-year-old restaurateur who currently resides in Boca Raton, FL.

ELYSE:
Elyse is a 27-year-old physician who currently resides in New York, NY.

HEATHER:
Heather is a 34-year-old registered nurse who currently resides in Aliquippa, PA.

JESSICA:
Jessica is a 25-year-old assistant buyer who currently resides in Charlotte, NC.

LAURA:
Laura is a 29-year-old dolphin trainer who currently resides in San Diego, CA.

MERI:
Meri is a 27-year-old attorney who currently resides in Biloxi, MS.

RENEE:
Renee is a 30-year-old broadcast marketer who currently resides in Baltimore, MD.

RITA:
Rita is a 29-year-old policy advisor who currently resides in Richmond, VA.

ROSELLA:
Rosella is a 27-year-old make-up artist who currently resides in Chicago, IL.

TARA:
Tara is a 24-year-old realtor who currently resides in St. Augustine, FL.



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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I can't believe he DIDN'T PICK SADIE!!! I thought for sure I knew what his final choice was going to be. But those damn Bachelor producers do it to me every time. They drop a few clues here and there, and make you think you know which way the Bachelor's heart is leaning. And the KABLAM! That first limo pulls up and the favorite is stepping out to get her heart crushed.

But really, didn't Sadie seem like the better match? She had the spunk that I thought Lorenzo was looking for. She was smart, and fun, and they had the chemistry. And she didn't have a shotgun carrying father. And when they would kiss, he would grab her head and stroke her hair... while when he kissed Jen it just seemed more like a sweet kiss that she would have to initiate instead of him.

Not to say that Jenn isn't a sweetheart. I think she's more than willing to jump in with both feet and try to become a part of Lorenzo's life. She seems to be warm and supportive, and I think is good long-term-partner material. And it's not like they didn't have chemistry too, and have lots of fun together. Just by comparison, I didn't think she was the one.

So what do you all think? Was this the right choice? Has anyone heard of Lorenzo/Jenn sightings in the news? Do you think it will really work out for these two... or will this be yet another couple that won't last through the separation period?

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Standings Before Episode 6

It's time for the hometown visits. Who got a rose this week?

JENNIFER:

Good thing that Jennifer has the sweetness and fun spirit necessary to counter balance her dad's scary gun-welding threats... otherwise this poor girl would never get a date! She and Lorenzo seem to have an easy chemistry, and a genuine spark. And if he still wants to see her after meeting that dad, he MUST be smitten!

LISA:

What are you thinking, girl? Trying on a wedding dress in front of Lorenzo, and somehow thinking that will make you MORE attractive to him? You're just spooking the poor guy. And after your best friend brings over the dress, then she tells Lorenzo about your 5-year plan about marriage and children. I mean, it's about time Lorenzo finds out about it... but with a friend like that, who needs enemies?

SADIE:

What a cutie! Nice girl, nice family... what is there not to like about this girl? It was a nice low-stress visit with the family, and yet Sadie wisely made time for she and Lorenzo to spend some romantic alone time on the beach before he had to jet off to his next hometown. Nicely done! Ohhh... give her the final rose and the ring already!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Welcome Home!

So Lorenzo earned some frequent flyer miles this week, jetting all over the globe to meet the ladies and their families in their individual hometowns. How did it go?

Sadie: San Diego, CA

Pros: It’s San Diego! One of the prettiest cities out there. But in addition to the nice surroundings, the family visit was easy-going and low stress. Lorenzo clearly cares for Sadie, and her family seemed to pick up on that. He was polite, charming, and genuine… and everyone seemed to enjoy his company. Dad got some alone time with Lorenzo, and got to hear his feelings about Sadie. Mom got some alone time with Sadie, and got to hear her feelings about Lorenzo. There don’t seem to be a lot of concerns being raised on either end. Plus Sadie made sure to end the evening with some romantic bonfire snuggling on the beach for just the two of them. It was clear that Lorenzo left the visit with his feelings reaffirmed about Sadie, and more questions answered than raised.

Cons: Not a lot to mention, actually. Unless Lorenzo is at all weirded-out by the family’s strong religious beliefs, there wasn’t a lot to stumble over. Clearly with Sadie’s plans to save herself for marriage, she grew up in a religious environment. But they certainly didn’t hit him over the head with it or anything. Overall, things look good for Miss Sadie!


Lisa: Portland, OR

Pros: Well, Lisa's family seemed nice and welcoming. There weren't any strange personalities or scary family secrets discovered. Her dad especially seemed nice and normal, and somewhat tolerent of his daughter's crazy planning tendancies while at the same time recognizing that she is a little over the top about it.

Cons: Well, as soon as Lisa's friend Ally showed up, things got weird for Lorenzo. There she is, at the door with a wedding dress for Lisa to try on... and then happy to spill to Lorenzo about the "5-year-plan". How could any guy NOT feel sideswiped with all of that suddenly hitting him? I don't know, Lisa... this friend of yours did more damage than good I think. With a friend like that, who needs enemies? And what's with mom and the Pilates class? Is this what happens to all of the boys that Lisa brings home? If so... she's gonna need a couple more years for her plan.


Jennifer: Pembroke Pines, FL

Pros: Jenn and Lorenzo certainly seemed to have an easy chemistry during their little fishing trip. It was cute to see how he was always staying close to her and giving her little kisses. I think the time they spent together their was a really good bonding opportunity for both of them.

Cons: Oh my gosh. I feel sorry for any guy that Jenn has ever brought home. Not that her dad doesn't have the right to let the fellows know that they better treat her right... but how uncomfortable is it to have the father of the girl you're dating, sitting with a gun in his lap and tellling you that he's not afraid to use it if you ever make her unhappy? But aside from the show of force by Daddy Dearest, there weren't any terrible stumbling blocks. As long as Lorenzo wasn't scared off by the gruff talk, I think the chemistry these two share is enough reason for Lorenzo to continue to pursue Jenn.


Agnese: Venice, Italy

Pros: Agnese's English has improved so much since the beginning of the show! It makes it much easier for her to communicate what she wants to say. When it was the two of them alone, they were able to chat back and forth pretty effectively. However, they are just now able to communicate well... whereas with all the other girls he's been able to communicate all along, and has had a chance to get to know them much better as a result.

Cons: Hmmm... lots of awkward silence. Agnese's entire family seems warm and close, but no real progress could be made because there just wasn't enough understanding going on between the two sides. Not that a bond with the family is required to go forward... but when he's got three other girls in the wings that he CAN communicate with, it's certainly a disadvantage. But at least Agnese didn't throw on a wedding dress and spring a 5-year plan on him!


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Monday, October 30, 2006

The Standings Before Episode 5

Four rose ceremonies down, and four ladies still standing. Who got a rose this week?

AGNESE:

Lorenzo and Agnese must have some pretty good chemistry, because even though our Bachelor is concerned about the language barrier, and concerned about having to communicate with Italian-speaking parents on a home visit, he STILL keeps giving this little lady a rose. Would she ever be his final choice? I don't know. But he certainly is enchanted with her, and doesn't want to let her go yet.

JENNIFER:

If I was the little angel on Lorenzo's shoulder, I would be telling him to narrow his choices down to Jennifer and Sadie, and forget the rest. Jennifer is sweet and genuine, is easy to be with, and has a good heart. She and Lorenzo seem to have a good time together. They have an easy chemistry, and that kiss at Trevi Fountain certainly had some sparks! Let's hope things go well with mom and dad.

LISA:

I just can't quite figure out what's going on with Lisa. She seems to just have a position to fill, and isn't really paying attention to Lorezno as a person to determine if they are good together. She's going to say and do all the right things to keep this "romance" going forward, but if she's going to try and slam-dunk a husband just to meet a deadline, she's going to end up with someone that may not be the best match for her. Let's hope the home visit sheds some light on Lisa, and maybe her mom will give us some insight as to whether her daughter actually has some feelings for this guy or if it's all just a grown-up version of playing house.

SADIE:

I know I'm not the only one that thinks that Sadie is just the RIGHT choice for this guy. She is comfortable being herself, she's comfortable with Lorenzo... and he seems to genuinely enjoy being with her. Let's hope there isn't some crazy family fiasco waiting for them during the home visit. Because if things go well, I expect Sadie to be attending the final rose ceremony, and hopefully walking away with the final rose!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Three rose ceremonies down, and six ladies still standing. Who got a rose this week?


AGNESE:

Our little Italian lady is still in the running! Of course, given a choice between Erica and anyone else, Lorenzo is clearly going to pick "anyone else". So we'll have to see if he still keeps her around when it's not a sudden death match. Lorenzo seems intrigued, but the language barrier has got to be a problem eventually... so I don't honestly see her staying til the end. They seem to have quite the chemistry though, so if it's all kissing and no talking, she's the perfect girl!

DESIREE:

Aside from feeding Lorenzo a grape from her own mouth, we didn't see as much of Desiree this week. She still seems to be a one-note kind of girl though, so I don't think we missed much of anything. Throw "Baby" in the middle of a few sentences, and we'll get the gist of any conversations she may have had. If the order that he presented the roses has any significance, than Lorenzo may be tiring of Desiree and her over-the-top ways. Time to show him something new, honey! And I don't mean by taking your clothes off.

JEANETTE:

This is a tough gig for a shy girl, so Jeanette did the right thing by pulling Lorenzo aside to let him know that she's truly there for the right reasons, even if she's not screaming for attention and participating in every conversation. Lorenzo seemed to appreciate and respond to that. These two need some more alone time though to see if there is any spark worth flaming.

JENNIFER:

Okay, every time I proclaim someone to be a nice "normal" girl, they get sent home. But at the risk of cutting Jennifer's trip to Rome short, I think she's a nice "normal" girl that might be worth keeping around. She seems at ease with herself, and with Lorenzo. But I'm not sure about the chemistry. We need to mix these two up and see what happens.

LISA:

Okay Miss Lisa... you've let your early success in this horserace go to your head. You seem to think you have this thing in the bag, and are looking down your nose at the other girls as if you're wondering why they are all still here. Lorenzo clearly likes you, and was happy to lip-lock with you for a bit on your group date. But I don't think anyone is going to like the arrogance that you're starting to display... so you may want to straighten up little missy if you want any hope of your precious 5-year plan coming true.

SADIE:

Sadie! Hurray! Sadie is still here! And she disclosed her big secret, and Prince Charming still kept her around. Way to go, Lorenzo! What guy wouldn't be stoked to finally be the one to "win the prize" she's been holding on to for so long. And he seems to genuinely like her... as do we all!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

See those fireworks? Those are to celebrate your departure!!!

So, not that I can do justice to the “Bachelor” recap, compared to what Kelly Ripa does each Tuesday morning… but let’s take a look at some of the highlights from last night’s show, shall we?

We’re down to nine Bachelorettes, which will be whittled down to six by the end of the evening. So you know what that means! Yep… dates, dates, and more dates! This time around, there will be one group date, one one-on-one date, and one two-on-one date. Hmmm… how very non-symmetrical.

The ladies are told they must all sing a little opera in order to win the opportunity to go on the one-on-one date with our eligible prince. The ladies look uncomfortable… they don’t want to sing. The viewing audience is uncomfortable… we don’t want to hear them sing. We all turn our TV’s to the “Closed Captioned” option for the next few minutes.

With varying degrees of failure, the girls all stumble through the little operetta that they’ve been given. No one can sing it, but some still sell it pretty well. Erica, wearing that damn tiara that must be permanently tangled up in her nasty-hair by now, performs as if she thinks she’s really nailing it. She isn’t. She’s awful. She’s irritating.

At the end of it all, it is decided that Jami has actually done the best job, and she wins the date with Lorenzo. She gets to join him for an actual opera performance, by people that actually know what they’re doing. She is very excited. Gina scowls. Erica pouts.

Lorenzo picks Jami up. She’s in a beautiful red gown, and Lorenzo comments on how stunning she looks. Then he pulls out a jewelry box, and tells her that he as a 2 MILLION dollar diamond necklace with matching earrings that she can wear for the evening. It’s a flashback to “Pretty Woman”, and all that is missing is for him to snap the jewelry box at her fingers when she reaches in to touch the pretty sparkly things.

They are off, all pretty and prepped for the opera. Erica sits back and sneers, and tells us all once again how incompatible Jami and Lorenzo are, and how it’s awful that Jami has to wear those long gloves in order to hide her tattoos. She predicts that Jami will not get a rose while on her date, and will be going home tonight. We predict that Erica will grow up to be a lonely bitter woman.

Lorenzo and Jami chat as they drive to the opera. The conversation is light and easy. They arrive at the opera house, and have it all to themselves… with a cozy velvet loveseat waiting for them, along with some chilling champagne. (natch) Lorenzo convinces Jami to give an encore performance of her date-winning opera singing. She’s a sport, and gets up on stage and gives it a go. It’s truly awful, but she’s having fun with it, and he seems to enjoy seeing her having fun. She gives a little bow and returns to her seat. They chat some more about family… and then the real entertainment arrives as they get a short private show by Vittorio. Man, this guy makes me love opera. Lorenzo and Jami get up and dance… but in a voiceover Lorenzo tells us that even though the environment is very romantic, he doesn’t think the physical chemistry is there.

It’s Rose time, and Lorenzo breaks the hard news that he doesn’t feel more for Jami than just the “friend” level… and therefore he can’t give her a rose. She is shocked and devastated. Pretty sparkly jewelry goes back in the box, Jami’s car arrives, and she’s off and on her way back home.

Damn. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed that Jami is out, or that Erica was right.

Ahhh well… another day, another date. The next morning it is time for the group date, and Desiree, Jeanette, Jennifer, Lisa, Sadie, and Gina will be joining Lorenzo for a day of wine tasting in Tuscany.

They all crawl on a short bus, and take a field trip to the wine country. They arrive at Costello di Velona… and soon the bottles are uncorked and the wine is flowing. Jeanette is the first to make her move, and she drags Lorenzo away for some alone time. She feels that her shyness may be giving him the wrong impression that she isn’t interested, and she wants to put a stop to that misconception right away. She explains that she’s not the sort to throw herself out there to compete for attention, but that she does think that Lorenzo is a very special person and has enjoyed getting to know more and more about him. Lorenzo seems charmed, and they chat some more while strolling through the vineyards.

Meanwhile, the rest of his “dates” are getting restless. Lisa asks the other girls if they think that Lorenzo feels this date is romantic. They all nod their head yes, and add into evidence the wine, the sky, the Tuscan sun… etc., etc. Lisa snobbily says that she doesn’t understand how Lorenzo could consider a group date like this romantic… and that the one-on-one date she had with him was MUCH more romantic. Desiree literally bites her tongue to avoid a catfight with her. Lisa is clearly feeling very smug about the first rose, the diamond earrings, the first alone date… yada, yada. And she is happy to throw all of that out in the faces of the other girls. Uh, Lisa… you still have to live with these girls. Unless you want to find your bra in the freezer, you might want to shut your yap.

Back at the Bachelorette house, the only two girls still at home after Jami’s early departure is Erica and Agnese. They receive a date box, with clues to what their two-on-one date the next evening will entail. Erica, ever the condescending twit, reads the contents of the note to Agnese as if she is reading a Dr. Suess book to a three-year-old.

“One Rose… One Stays, One Goes”

Erica points to the words as she reads them, pronouncing them very slowly and emphatically. Agnese look at her like she is a madwoman. Then she grabs the note from Erica and says, “The rose is mine.” Yeah, Erica… I think she understands.

Back in Tuscany, night has fallen, and all the ladies have dressed up a bit and are waiting for Lorenzo by the pool. Champagne is flowing once again. It’s time for Sadie to steal some one-on-one time, so she and Prince Charming stroll off for a chat. After settling on some lounge chairs, Sadie tells him that she needs to explain something to him… that she takes relationships seriously, and as a result she is actually saving herself for marriage. Lorenzo is actually very cool about it. He comments how such a decision demonstrates her values, and that he thinks it’s amazing that she’s obviously waiting for the right person. Nicely done by both! Sadie broke the news in a very straight-forward, non-drama way (and before anyone else could do it for her), and Lorenzo reacted in a very respectful and non-flustered way. Will it really matter? We can’t know… but at least it’s out there now.

Sadie and Lorenzo return to the pool, and then Lorenzo steals tree-hugging Lisa away for a little alone time. He must really like this girl, because he reiterates how much he enjoyed their first date, and then asks Lisa if he can kiss her. This is the first time our Bachelor has actually initiated such a thing. Lisa of course says he can kiss her, and they share a couple smooches. Then we hear Lisa telling us how she felt really good after the kiss. AGAIN she brings up her “timeline” and her “plan” and lets us know that everything seems to be on schedule. Strangely, she doesn’t actually mention if she likes Lorenzo… she’s just happy that he seems to be timely.

Back at the Bachelorette villa, Erica is still treating Agnese like a dim three-year-old. She tells us that out of the whole house, she can communicate with Agnese the best, because she speaks English very s-l-o-w-ly, and with an Italian accent. (WTF??) She demonstrates this amazing talent by telling Agnese “Me tired. I go to sleep now.” Wow, Erica… you just never cease to amaze me. Your talents are endless. Truly.

Things are a bit livelier back in Tuscany. All the girls have stripped down to their bikinis, and have jumped in the pool. Lorenzo is no dummy, and he’s jumped in to join them. The wine and champagne continue to flow, and the party eventually continues upstairs where they all decide to play Truth or Dare. (Drunken pajama-party Truth or Dare on national TV… you’ve got to love that!)

Desiree is first up and goes straight for the dare. She has to eat a grape out of Lorenzo’s mouth. She hesitates – not at all – and happily climbs all over him to comply. Jen takes a dare, and has to take a body shot off of Lorenzo’s stomach. Lorenzo is truly loving this game. Lorenzo takes truth, and Sadie asks him how many of the bachelorettes he has kissed. He diplomatically tells them that he has kissed everyone, albeit in some cases only on the cheek. The girls feel cheated, but are secretly impressed by his honest and yet non-controversial answer. Lisa feels especially special, because she figures he is answering in such a roundabout manner because he is trying to protect her honor. Yeah, what she doesn’t know is he and Agnese already did heavy smooching a couple days back… so the only one he is trying to protect is himself.

The next morning, Lorenzo takes Jen by the hand and leads her outside so that they can have some time to talk. He asks her about her teaching, and she gets a little teary thinking of her students, which charms Lorenzo. They have a brief, but sweet conversation, and Lorenzo then gives her a kiss right before they go back and join the other girls.

It’s Rose time, and the Tuscany ladies are all anxious to find out which lucky lady will receive it, since it’s been hanging over them since last evening. Lorenzo gives it to Jeanette, because he enjoyed their honest conversation in the vineyards. As girls do, all of the other ladies immediately begin questioning what they did wrong to not receive the rose. Sadie wonders if she did a bad thing by being so honest with him so early. Lisa doesn’t understand why he didn’t select her, since she was his first kiss (correction: since she thinks she was his first kiss). Ladies, ladies! Please stop beating yourselves up! There were 6 ladies, and 1 rose… by definition, five of you were not going to get a rose. It’s math, that’s all! You didn’t do anything wrong. Sheesh.

That evening, it’s time for the last of the dates… the anticipated two-on-one pairing of Erica and Agnese. What was originally going to be a night on the town, has been changed to be a night lounging around at home at Lorenzo’s quarters. He instructs the girls to go find something comfy in his closet to change into. They grab boxers and t-shirts, and then sit on his bed and enjoy pizza and wine. Erica notices the rose sitting over on the side of the room, and mentions to everyone that she notices the rose sitting over on the side of the room. Lorenzo gives out a small sigh, and then realizes it’s time to get to work. Time to go spend some one-on-one time with Erica.

They go out to the courtyard, and sit down to talk. Lorenzo asks Erica if she thinks that she has a stronger connection with him than the other girls. Erica begins her sales pitch. She tells them that all the lovely wonderful things that they’ve been doing while in Rome don’t mean anything to her, because she – coming from a privileged background – can do all of this fancy stuff any day. She’s been to Rome, she’s been in helicopters, she eats fancy food and wears fancy clothes… she is so wonderful, and so special, and so great… that she’s had all of this stuff handed to her during her entire life. Lorenzo stares at her, clearly wishing he was somewhere else, wondering what her point is. What is her point? Oh, here it is! Unlike the other girls that may be here just to be wined and dined… she is here for HIM. Lorenzo says nothing. He stares at her like she’s an alien, until she finally stops talking and asks if there is anything else he wants to know about her. Uhhhhh… no, there is nothing else he wants to know. If fact, he is quite sure he has all the information he needs to make a decision about Erica.

Afterwards, Erica tells us how great it went. She explains that Lorenzo is royalty, and he’s not a commoner (you know, like you and me). And that he needs HER to do the job. What? Is this a job interview now? Did I doze off, and wake up during The Apprentice? Whatever… she then starts going down the list of all her competition. She says that girls like Jen are a dime a dozen, that Sadie is noteworthy only because she is a virgin and that is a bit rare, that Lisa is a step up from that (maybe because she is so snobby, and Erica admires that?), and that then she, Erica, is a hundred steps up from that… uh, because I guess she was born to that well-known royal family in Texas? Who knows. Anyway, there is still no mention that she actually LIKES Lorenzo, just that he has the pedigree that she is looking for. Ah well… details, details.

So now it is time for Lorenzo to spend some time with Agnese. He admits that he likes her, but that the language barrier is an issue. But they sit down together on the same couch in the courtyard, and do their best to communicate. Agnese explains that he isn’t really seeing her for who she is, because usually she is one that likes to talk and share what she thinks… and that obviously that has been hard since she doesn’t speak English very well. But the very fact that she could communicate THAT, demonstrates that she can speak English well enough to get her thoughts across. In the meantime, Erica is spying on them from the balcony of the bedroom that looks down on the courtyard. At first she lies low, trying not to be seen. But then her need to have all the attention all of the time gets the better of her, and she springs up and hangs over the railing waving to them both and yelling, “Hi guys!” Agnese tries to wave her away and not-so-jokingly says, “See you later.” Lorenzo mumbles something about being right up, although he was obviously not done with his conversation with Agnese.

Well, our Bachelor Prince has at least had enough time to make a decision. He waffles back and forth, saying nice things about both girls, but then tells Erica that he feels that she would change to become whatever he wants instead of saying true to herself. She immediately interrupts him, and tells him that isn’t true. He says, well, that’s his impression… and so he gives the rose to Agnese.

Erica gets quiet while Agnese accepts the rose and gives Lorenzo a kiss. Then Lorenzo offers to walk her out. As they make their way out to the car, Erica starts getting more and more irate. She starts blaming Lorenzo for judging her about the one thing she said on the other group date (that SHE judges people, and feels it is okay to do so). Lorenzo then counters that tonight she was completely different, and she acted differently to better fit in with what she thought he would like. Now she starts getting hysterical… once again yammering on about how because she comes from a certain background, people have judged her during her entire life. And IT’S NOT FAIR….!!! And surely he should understand because he’s from the same background, blah, blah, (sob) blah. Lorenzo just gets more determined to march her to the car, now certain that he has made absolutely the right decision because this girl is an unstable frootloop. He helps her into the car and shuts the door. She then proceeds to roll down the window and continue the conversation by telling him how he wasn’t fair, and didn’t come into the evening with an open mind. He tries to say a word to defend himself, and she says, “NO! You didn’t give me a second chance!” Lorenzo at this point is just trying to extract himself from the whole conversation, and blandly thanks her for coming while slowly backing away from the car. Erica shoots out a final, “Sorry, but you just made a really bad mistake!” Lorenzo’s rolling eyes as he turns away indicates he doesn’t agree.

We then get sobbing Erica, telling the camera in the back of the limo that once again she has been judged because she is pretty and smart and from a privileged background… and (say it with me now) IT’S NOT FAIR…!!!! When she’s settled down a little bit, we get to hear Erica’s take on the whole thing:

“It’s a disgusting little gross fairy tale. The poor girl meets the rich guy, and they fall in love and then live happily ever after. I am SO bored of that story.”

In the meantime, the luggage guy has come to pick up Erica’s things which has tipped the other girls off to what Lorenzo’s decision was. They celebrate that fact that the drama queen is gone.

And Lorenzo? He is back on the balcony with Agnese, enjoying a fresh glass of champagne, and a lot of smooching as a private fireworks show goes off above them. Very, very nice.

Now it’s the next evening, and time for the rose ceremony for the rest of the girls. Agnese and Jeanette are safe, having already received their roses in the days before. Jennifer, Sadie, Gina, Desiree, and Lisa all stand waiting to see which of them will be going home… because there are only four roses for five ladies.

Lorenzo comes in, “Thank you all, you’re all incredible, this is the hardest thing ever… blah, blah, blah.” The first rose goes to, “cute little Sadie.” The second goes to, tree-hugging Lisa.

Gina is biting her lip.

The third rose goes to, Jen. There is only one rose left.

Gina is eating her bottom lip. Desiree is being very Zen.

The final rose goes to… Desiree!
She lets out a big sigh of relief, clutches her chest, and stumbles up to Lorenzo saying, “I never knew a rose would mean so much, baby!”

Meanwhile, Gina is collapsing into a sad puddle of goo. But she does have on the prettiest dress of the bunch, I’ll give her that. So she is a beautiful, flowy, being-sent-home-without-a-rose, scowling, lip chewing, ex-bachelorette. Sorry Gina. But wear that gown while out and about back in the states, and they’ll be lots of men coming your way, trust me.


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Monday, October 16, 2006

The Standings Before Episode 3

Two rose ceremonies now, and the numbers are dwindling. Who got a rose this week?

AGNESE:
I'm just not sure why Agnese is still here. I'm not saying that she's not nice and smart and pretty... but in a situation like this, when you have so little time to get to know one another, a communication barrier really hampers things even further. Lorenzo, get her number... and if you don't find your soulmate after this whole process is through, give Agnese a call then when you have unlimited time to find ways to "communicate" with each other.


DESIREE:
Desiree is certainly a lot of fun, but even Lorenzo is beginning to wonder what substance there is beneath the flashy exterior. Desiree seems to be exhibiting only one facet, and as fun as that may be for a first date, it's hard to commit to that kind of outrageous personality for a lifetime. Let's see if she tones it down a bit, and gives Lorenzo and the rest of us a chance to see what she's really about.

ERICA:
Honey, you've obviously heard people whisper about you all your life saying, "She is SUCH a princess." Unfortunately, you didn't realize that those weren't exactly compliments, and that you aren't automatically entitled to be the last girl standing in this situation. What kind of bubble was this girl brought up in that has allowed her to become such a superficial, judgmental twit? Man... but she does all give us something to talk about the next day, doesn't she? That's what the producers love to hear.

GINA:
We didn't see that much of Gina this time around. I remember her scowling when it was announced that Lisa would get the first individual date, and I remember her scowling when Desiree was getting all flirty with Lorenzo... but other than that, she didn't get a lot of camera time this week. Now, it would be nice to see a couple other emotions out of her next time around, don't you think? So far she's just the scowly bachelorette that gets momentarily happy when she gets a rose... and then goes back to scowling. There must be more to her... right?

JAMI:
Jami just seems so nice, and normal. Before she passed out on the beach, Kim was my vote for nice and normal... but now it's Jami. She's easy going and personable, and is even nice to Erica... although Erica doesn't deserve such treatment after trash-talking Jami on the group date. I like how Lorenzo stood up to Erica when she was unfairly judging Jami. That's right, Lorenzo... don't let someone else sway you away from a perfectly lovely girl!


JEANETTE:
So Jeanette is kind of a mystery to me. We've barely had time to get to know her, with crazy Desiree and stuck-up Erica getting so much camera time. But Jeanette got the first rose at the ceremony, so Lorenzo must be convinced that she's worth keeping around. Let's hope we get to see a little of what he sees in her in next week's show.



JENNIFER:
Jennifer got the rose on the beach group date because she was the only one to not start acting like a princess prematurely, and actually go up and talk to Lorenzo to get to know him as opposed to waiting for him to do all the work. I like Jennifer because she's straight-forward, and genuine... and obviously Lorenzo likes that about her too. Hopefully she'll be around for a while to balance some of the other crazy personalities on the show.



LISA:
Well, I'm not sure that the little tree-hugging experience that Lisa and Lorenzo shared on the first night was enough to earn her the first rose, diamond earrings, AND the first individual date... but it seems to be working out well between the two of them. But it's unfortunate that Lisa is already keeping things from him, unwilling to tell him about her "5-year plan". Hopefully things will just develop naturally between them, and it won't be some kind of chemistry she is forcing in order stay on track with her timeline.



SADIE:
Sweet Sadie is still one of my favorites because she just seems to be so sweet and happy, and someone that Lorenzo truly seems to want to be around. She's not forcing herself on him, and instead he seems to be seeking her out. That's a good sign. However, she's still got a key piece of information that she needs to share with him at some point regarding her plan to save herself for marriage. Unfortunately, she made a bad call by disclosing that fact to all of the other girls before telling him... because you KNOW some one else is going to be happy to pass that little nugget of information on to Lorenzo the first chance that they get.

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